Down Time

Wow! If ever a lesson was 31 years late, it is the one I learned this week.

Make time to rest.

Unfortunately relaxing, though it should be the easiest thing in the world to do, is a foreign concept for me.  I feel if there is time, surely there is something productive I could be doing.  I am a very driven person who is self motivated. So all I need is a little opportunity to push myself beyond the limits.  I always feel as though I could be more productive or take something good or even great to the next level.  Are these negative qualities? NO!! Not in and of themselves.  Together with wisdom, someone possessing these qualities could turn the world upside down.

And the deception is that "if I push myslef a little harder, or deny myself this pleasure, I could get so much more done".  But it is actually the opposite.  It actually hurts your effectiveness, and decreases your productivity. 

In Psalm 103:14 the psalmist proclaims "He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust."  Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that yes, there is little that mankind cannot accomplish if we set our minds to it, but yet and still we are frail creatures, fully dependant upon an Omnipotent God. And this same Omnipotent God, worked 6 days then rested.  Not because He needed rest, but as a loving Father, set an example for us.  
As parents, entrepreneurs, wives, and all of the other hats we wear, we often don't see that it is even possible to take a break, let alone for an entire day. At least not without the roof caving in, or the world falling apart. 

But we can either approach rest proactively, or re-actively.

If you schedule down time, yes things may for a moment get out of hand, but if you are recovering from stress related illness, things will get even more out of hand.  And maybe your reputation as supermom will be injured but your reputation as a mom who loves her family and herself enough to plan for longevity will remain in tact.

Now let's talk about this race. Yes life is like a race; not a sprint but a marathon.  Endurance is key. And endurance cannot be achieved without scheduled down time. We cannot be what I call firecrackers, we start out with a bang-then fizzle out or burn out, unable to be lit again.

Last but not least, learning to schedule downtime can be passed down to your children like being a workaholic was passed down to me.

So kick back and relax. Go for a walk, or just watch the sun rise.
Enjoy your salvation. It will also make your home a happier place.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

2 Cor 4:7

Excuses Are a Funny Thing...

When I first thought of doing this, I could only think of one or two excuses.  Then as I went along, it seemed, that every time I overcame one, there was a new one staring me in the face.  And really, I shouldn't say new. In fact, there were the same old excuses I'd used for years.They were with me for so long, that they seemed to be a part of me...

A few old acquaintances

Stopped by for tea.

A few close buddies,

to spend time with me.

It seemed, as it were,

they whispered and poked,

they prodded and jabbed,

pulled the old rope a dope!

Yes they pulled a fast 

one over on me

and all I did

was invite them to tea!

They wore a new guise

not their old garb indeed.

And you cant grow new fruit

using an old seed.

I stood to my feet,

though I staggered a bit...

a left hook then right

T.K.O, baby! That's it!!.

But I hit 'em low

and I hit 'em hard

their shiny veneers

broke into shards.

Right in the mouth 

Yeah, I got 'em good!!

"Try that again!

Oh I wish you would".

It's lights out for excuses in my life.  The process of writing this blog has begun a process in me, that is exposing to me all of the excuses I've used as crutches, wubbies, binkies, you name it. But I am done.

I am so glad for this new year and my new beginning. And that no matter how many times I fall short of what I should be, God's mercy is there to welcome me with open arms.  I am careful not to take that mercy for granted or abuse it, but I have surely needed it a time or two :-)

  Yet this I call to mind

       and therefore I have hope:

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
       for his compassions ( mercies) never fail.

  They are new every morning;
       great is Your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:21-23 (New International Version)

 

 

Once I get the Money...

 People often say that they cannot do this or do that because they have no money.  Many Americans say, "If I ever get the money, I will do this or that."

But the truth is, if they aren't making preparations, they will never do it.  Mark Hankins said it best, when he said it this way, "Use what you have to secure what you lack."  He was using the story of Blind Bartimaeus to illustrate, that Blind Bartimaeus may not have had a way to get to Jesus, or even eyes to see when He was passing by, but he had faith, ears and a mouth.  So when he heard Jesus passing by, he cried out to Him for help.  And He got a whole lot more than that.  Jesus said "If we have faith as a mustard seed we would say...and it would..." (Lk 17:6) Our words have power. If you don't like what you are seeing, change what you are saying.  And if money is the only thing standing between you and realizing your dream, then look for free ways to get started, and believe God for the money. There are so many promises in the Bible regarding financial provision and us praying according the will of God, Him hearing us, and granting our request (I Jn 5:14-15)So dig into His Word, find the promises, be someone He can trust, ask, and recieve.

The Disorder Disorder

Disorder Defined: unpredictability and it is the opposite of law and order.

If unpredictability is a resident in our lives, it effects everything. When discussing thermodynamics, we come across a little known law, commonly called the law of entropy.  Sounds creepy. But the law of entropy is basically this: everything in the world is progressing toward a state of disorder, chaos or breakdown.  If you just look around you can see that there must be some merit to this theory. Ice melting, food rotting, the aging process, etc
The law goes on to state that entropy is always increasing or staying steady, but never decreasing. YIKES!!

So we can see that we've got a fight on our hands. I've done some of my own research into disorder.  And the interesting thing about disorder is that, when you begin to get rid of disorder (or create order), you somehow, find even more disorder.  And depending on how long you had the disorder, you adapt your lifestyle to fit the disorder and stop considering it disorder.

Disorder can come in all shapes and sizes.  For some it is a shopping disorder, eating disorder, tv watching disorder, etc.  For others, it is an organizational disorder (too much or too little), a time management disorder, a procrastination disorder, or an  I don't have any disorder-in fact I am perfect disorder.

Either way, disorder is not God's plan for our life.  In fact, in 1 Corinthians 14:40 we are instructed to do everything decently and in order.  Then we can read in Jeremiah 29:11, that God tells us that He knows the thoughts that He thinks toward us, thoughts of peace, and not of evil. To give us a future filled with hope. When disorder has taken over your life, like an over grown weed in a garden, there is no room for peace.  And the longer it is allowed to grow, the more room there is for hopelessness.  

So what do we do once we spot a disorder weed trying to grow in our garden, or we look with exasperation at the disorder weeds already full grown in our once idealic garden?

Cry out to God.  David said in my distress I cried out to the Lord, He heard my voice from His temple and my cry came before Him, even to His ears.  Be honest and straight forward. "God, You said to do things decently and in order, and I can see some areas of my life that I did not do that.  Have mercy on me!! Help me get things in order and be gracious to me in the meantime. I can't do it alone and I need you to help me as only You can! Thank You for Your help! In Jesus Name."

Then create an action plan.  What steps will you take to create order? Don't base this plan on what you need to get in order to do.  Base your action plan on what you have now and what you can do now. 

Lastly, Take the first step!! After that it will get easier.  But that first step creates momentum, and momentum can carry you a long way.

I am certain that God, who began a good work in you, will continue His work until it is finally finished...Phil 1:6

I Just Don't Feel Like It

In 2010 I need things to be different. My life is good. I am happy. Yet, deep down inside I know that I have not lived up to my full potential. Personally, I rather hate the status quo. If you linger too long with the status quo, you will invariably, end up behind, or at least not where you should be.

I've noticed in my life at one point or another, when things are good, and I've accomplished enough to not feel guilty, I settle in. I become comfortable. Comfortable is a killer of dreams and possibility.

We all have moments, if not days when we just don't feel like it. I think sometimes when I "just don't feel like it" it is because I am ok with things the way they are. We often say we want change. But if, in fact, we really wanted change, wouldn't we just change? Our desire to change has to be great enough to move us to action.

We are not alone in our efforts. Paul writing to the Philipian church tells us "For it is God which works in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure".

So today, my prayer is "Thank You, Lord, that you are working in me, not only to do, but also to want to do, what pleases you"!

Dealing With Disappointment

I am continuing to go down the list of hindrances to motivation and excuses.

I had developed quite a bit of forward momentum from Day 1.  Since then I have been getting a massive amount of things accomplished. I already settled into my new chore schedule, whittled away my to-do list, drank a liter of water a day, and turned the world upside at work.  Then today, like a freight train, disappointment hit.  It involved something I had poured my heart and soul into, and it didn't turn out the way that I desired, or planned.  And God understands how disappointment feels to us.  He said "hope deferred makes the heart sick (Prov 13:12)".
However, I let this disappointment began to affect my disposition.  Once I allowed it to do that, motivation flew like a wild bird out of the window.
All of this forward momentum I had created and all of the tall buildings I leaped in a single bound, got to my head. I somehow thought I had the Midas touch or something.  That quickly I had forgotten, that it is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect.  I had forgotten my prayer about God working in me both to do and want to do what pleases Him.  I had accomplished what I did because of Him, and if I  but trust in Him, give this matter to Him entirely, He can bring success in that too.
I breathed a little bit more. 
Regardless of what the disappointment or delay is, it can have the same text book effect.  It kills motivation.
We must stop the train of disappointment, thoroughly inspect the cargo, and not allow delivery of the tainted goods.
Paul said this to the Corinthians "therefore we do not lose heart...for our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal (2 Cor 4:16-18)".

My Reading List

One of my goals this year is to read at least two books per month for myself.  I have finished "Is Your To Do List About to Do You In?".  It was okay.  It pointed out the obvious...that I need to cut back some things in my schedule.  I am also rereading a favorite of mine.

Anyone who knows me, knows I am always talking about the dreams God gave us and praying for my friends and loved ones that He helps them come to pass in thier lives. For some I have seen with my own eyes some of those dreams to come to pass. I know some of them, as big as the world is, so is their dream. As for myself, I am walking out some of those dreams even now. But I know there is more.

I said all that to say this. Regardless of where you are in life, there is always room to go to the next level. Room to see that next dream on the list come to pass. If you wonder what the next level is, if you see the next level not far off, or if you just need to know how to get there...Here is a great tool:

"Renew, Refocus and Recover! A Road Trip To the Life You Deserve." Get two copies and keep one for yourself and give one to a sister, friend, colleague, or even your mother for Mother's Day.

It is time to stop dreaming in life and start living the life you dream.

A friend was kind enough to give me a copy as a gift, and telling her thank you hasn't been enough. I have read, and frequently refer back to those now bent pages. I use the highlighter, ink and tear stained pages as a reference. Because until I have everything I dream of, I refuse to settle for second best ever again. This book has renewed my tenacity and helped me streamline my efforts to achieve what God has put in my heart.

The beauty of this book is that unlike some self-help books, you don't have have to be broke, busted and disgusted to get something out of it. The message of the book meets you where you are at and can be applied to any situation you are facing.

Buy it today.  Renew, Refocus and Recover- by Raquel R. Robinson

By the way, I realize that there are those who are always recommending the next bestselling book. I am not one of those people nor do I follow the advice of those people. Furthermore, when I read a book, I need it to change my life or at a minimum be worth the time that I set aside to read it.
Those of us who can recall anything from our economics class, recall "opportunity costs". If it is not worth my time, I will not read it. I am confident this will be worth your time.


To check out some of the other books on my reading list this year, look on the left side of this blog.

Dealing With Grief

Today, I am aching.

From the inside out. 

I hurt in a way that I am just not used to hurting.  Yet, I am thankful and humbled that I have had 31 years with one of the most amazing women on the planet.  I could say that she changed my life, but really she helped to shape it.  She was like a rudder on my ship, and her strength and fortitude helped me stay the course. 
She survived the Great Depression, war, divorce, racism, sexism and raising three children as a single mother. 

But she didn't just survive, she lived. 

In my thirty one years, I've never seen her bitter   She never complained that life was not fair.  She squared her shoulders, bowed her knees, and embraced us tenderly.  Her ninety five years were marked with dertermination, sacrifice, joy and love. 
She was also an entreprenuer.  She owned and operated a very successful dry cleaners in the heart of a thriving community, in a time when women were not afforded such opportunities. 
Even in her last years, she was full of spunk, and tenacity.  Her wit was just as quick as it ever was, and her eyes still shined brightly.
She was well loved and will be celebrated by many.

So, yes, my heart is heavy, but I am not overcome.  Her legacy goes on and all of the things she built with wisdom, remain until this day.  She also knew Jesus, and I am comforted as I remember that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.  I know she is in that great cloud of witnesses, cheering me on as I run this race that is set before me.

Moving Right Along

WOW!!!
It has been very long since I last blogged.  But I have lots of good news to report.
I am moving right along through my reading list, I even read a couple of extra books that weren't on the list.
My home is a happier place.  We also started having family game/movie night. 

And my fat jeans are once again, my fat jeans!!

I must admit, in the beginning some of these things seemed sooooo tedious. but now it seems like I have acquired some discipline and formed new habits.  But I still have 9 mos to go.

Laziness

Laziness. Hmm. Seems simple enough. Or so I thought.

I like to work and enjoy starting new projects.  The worse thing anyone could've called me is lazy.  And if they had, I wouldn't have believed them.

Then, the light came on.  Laziness isn't not wanting to do work (that is part of it). Biblical laziness is starting and not finishing. OUCH!!!

Guilty as charged.

Let me show you what I mean:

The sluggard will not plow by reason of the cold; therefore shall he beg in harvest, and have nothing.(Proverbs 20:4)

The slothful man saith, There is a lion without, I shall be slain in the streets. (Proverbs 22:13)

The slothful man roasteth not that which he took in hunting: but the substance of a diligent man is precious. (Proverbs 12:27)

Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord...So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.' "His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.  (Matthew 25:25-27 (New International Version)

You see, in all of these examples, the sluggard (lazy person), did something. But they had excuses that kept them from finishing what they started. 

When I read these verses, I could easily recall all of the things I began but had yet to complete. 

But just like with anything else, we can go to God and ask for forgiveness and help to do better.

So I prayed "Lord, forgive me for being lazy. Help me not to make excuses, but rather to be the finisher that you created me to be in Christ. Thank You!"

It is just that simple. Then He will give you wisdom and whatever else you need to be a finisher.

We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.

Hebrews 6:11-13 (New International Version)

Old Habits Die Hard

It is so often said that old habits die hard. And  I'll be among the first to admit, there are habits that don't go down without a fight. 

That being said, I think that old adage is really just another excuse.  

An excuse is simply this: a plan to fail. When we make excuses we have an expectation of failure and the excuse is the justification for that failure.  An excuse is contingency plan for failure.  

But back to these old habits...if a new habit can be formed in 21 days, and a new habit can replace an old one, wouldn't it be safe to conclude that an old habit can die in 21 days?

I put this theory to the test. Today is day 22. I have had 22 days to form new habits.  So far, I am drinking a liter a day, preparing meals and clothes ahead of time, spending dedicated time alone with God, reading at least 2 books per month, etc.  Some habits I am still working on, but what I learned is this.  The habits that you could see on the outside, were nothing compared to the most important habit of all.  My pattern of thinking. I heard someone say that those who make excuses are prone to failure.  I believe that is because people who make excuses forecast failure in their minds. 

As I've said in previous blogs, there are days when excuses flow like a river. Well, for the last 22 days, I created a new habit of not using excuses.  My internal monologue no longer regards excuses as valid.  I see myself finishing strong.

 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Phil 4:8

The Power of Imagination-Pt 2

This thing called imagination is far more powerful than we had ever considered.

If we are going to succeed or fail, we first imagine it.

If you consider people like Benjamin Franklin, Albert Einstein, Barbara Askins and Dr. Charles Drew, you can see that they first had an idea and imagined it into reality.   Now, please don't misunderstand, it also requires lots of hard work, and an unwillingness to quit, no matter what.  But determination and intense effort are only part of the equation.

  If I am going to finish strong this year, I cannot be what I call a firecracker.  You start out bright, then fizzle out and cannot be lit again.  So in order to avoid the fizzle out, you have to ,(as my pastor put it), retool and refuel.
Many Christians can look back at past failures and assume it was a faith failure or that they didn't hear from God correctly.  For many of us, a little imagination and perseverance has been the missing part.

Good but Not Perfect

Today was a good day.

I woke up. Read my bible, got ready, made breakfast, had fun with the girls, did some work, and went on through the list of things to get done in a day.  Now, I have been following my chore schedule and today was cleaning LT's room and the hallway.  LT has grown some, so part of cleaning his room today included putting away clothes that are too small and taking out the next size up. And taking out toys that he is now old enough to play with.

 

.  So...also on my list of resolutions was to find someway to manage my digital media and photos.  Well, I printed out some pictures to scrapbook, I bought a few scrapbooking supplies. And that is as far as I have  gotten.  Today, while I was cleaning his room, I found some empty picture frames. Then I got the idea to scrapbook a couple pages and put them in a frame.  I only had a short time to do it, so I hurried and put something together.

Then I put a scripture on his wall.  When I finished I stepped back and looked..

 

This is usually the point where I then notice that my letters aren't even, and I could have been more creative with the shadow box. Normally this would send me into a tizzy where I obsess over small details until I have spent all my time on one project and the end result is that I am still less than satisfied and also frustrated that I didn't get more done.  Then I realized, so often my motivation is killed by being a perfectionist.

Okay, so it wasn't perfect, but it was good.  

Achieving our goals is not about lowering the bar or the standard.  But sometimes, for some people, like me, who are perfectionists, you have to set standards that are doable and not dazzling.  I am often my harshest critic. 

We have to learn to let ourselves off the hook.

So today to make peace with myself, I decided that it was good, and if I still wanted to change it next week, I could do that.  I was still motivated afterward and kept moving along. 

The Power of Imagination- Pt 1

Ever since I was the age of my daughters, I can recall having a very persuasive realization that world was an incredibly big place.  In my heart, I knew that there had to be something more, something greater than what rested within the confines of my cozy little neighborhood.  And I longed to look into it.  My heart ached for things I knew nothing of, and had not seen.  When I heard stories of places far, far away they seemed more real to me than the four walls of my bedroom. 
I was quite imaginative.   Soon, as I got older, I began to overhear things on the news or things adults would discuss in my hearing that they erroneously believed I had no interest in, and just like that, my imagination developed a new dimension.  I soon discovered that just as I could imagine strange and wonderful kingdoms where princesses used pink parasols to shield themselves from sprinkles and glitter raining from the sky, I could also imagine someone breaking in during the middle of the night and hurting me and taking all of my favorite books and toys.
And for years, I had allowed my imagination to imagine more bad than good.  I imagined that right after training I would probably start to hate my job.  I imagined that a certain professor thinks I am stupid.  I even imagined probable conversations that people were having about me while they were staring at me.
Then I had my children.  From at least 18 mos, children begin to engage in pretend play.  Their imagination is evidently at work.  The more I watched them and pretended with them a light came on for me.  
I realized that first and foremost, God gave us imaginations.  A way in which to conceive ideas for the purpose of working in tandem with our faith.  But like with anything, He said "I have before you life and death."  He goes on to say that we have to choose which one we allow to operate in our lives.  For so long, I imagined death.  I would hear a sound in the middle of the night and imagine it was someone breaking in, and I would begin to imagine how I would get away or fight back.  Now, if I hear a sound, I imagine it is one of the angels that God has assigned to assist me as an heir of salvation, and that hearken unto the voice of His commands, and that bear me up in their hands lest I dash a foot against a stone.  Now in all reality, the sound was probably ice in the icemaker, or the dog on the deck.
But if our imaginations are going to run wild, make sure they are running in the right direction.  

I Feel Fat

So here I am at day 1. I am going to go down the list of my usual obstacles to motivation and excuses.

#1-I feel fat, so why bother?

About a year ago I had a day that I woke up feeling fat. And instead of giving into that feeling, I decided to do a little experiment. I weighed myself. Then the next day, I felt even fatter, so I weighed myself. I did this for about a week and a half. From day to day, there was no change at all.

So I learned then that just because I feel fat, doesn't mean that I am or that I had even gained any weight. In fact, it had more to do with what I had been eating and whether or not I had any physical activity. My guilty conscience was sending me a message. I realized then that it was a distortion on the inside and not a result of what had accumulated on the outside.

So with that in mind I am going to dig in my heels and get up and do 30 minutes of aerobics...against my will.

(Later that day...) My girls came into the room while I was working out, so I turned it into a family activity. At one of my girls' gymnastics and tumble classes I watched and took mental notes.

She had the kids pretend to be animals. So I put a Semira spin on that and developed a whole routine. We started out with some yoga stretches, where we pretended to be rays of sun and flowers growing in a field. Then we went for a walk in place, and stopped at our imaginary bikes. We layed down and "peddled" on our bikes. Fast, then slowed down to go up a hill. At the top of the hill, we stood up and bent over and up 10 x's to "pick flowers". Then we jogged in place to the zoo. At the zoo we saw, kangaroos, so we had to jump like them. We also say elephants so we walked liked them and swung our trunks. So on and so forth.

It was actually quite fun and my girls were so happy to be included in the adventure.